/ Humour

Weakly Recapped: Week of April 2nd 2018

In this series, I will be posting a very weakly written and barebones recap of our previous week's activities including one absolutely horrible pun per week. There is no schedule, it makes no sense and the points don't matter. This is mostly satire, with the occasional update.

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Week #1
for the week of April 2nd, 2018

Cam posted the first blog post and immediately became an influencer. (that's how that works right?)
25 Terrene points

Kash mapped his touch bar to a custom soundboard of silly noises. (marking a new era of irritational efficiency powered by Apple innovation)
-12 Terrene points

In the first blog we explored the virtues of jpg compression and over the top image file sizes. (gotta get those sweet megapixels. Loading times don't matter.)
24 megapoints

This week Kash and I are also continuing our weekly trips to Detroit to meet with clients. (realistically it's because we love long boring drives, looking at you hwy 402)
402 Terrene points

Cam wrote a bunch of content for the new website (which isn't up yet) to replace the old one (which no one really knows about). It made sense at the time.
48.5 Terrene points

I've been working on contracts for clients (if you could just sign an NDA I'd love to tell you all about it.)
Undisclosed amount of Terrene points

We've been passive aggressively planning to maybe go to Berlin for Foundercon. (we're scared of commitment)
112 Terrene points, 600 air miles (or like 2 cents worth)

Our Co-ops Enoch and Lazar have been diligently ignoring us and doing actual work on our internal sales tools and energy forecasting models. (we found that calling our distractions "learning opportunities" makes us sound legit)
250 Terrene points Each

We are considering getting fortnite the game as a team (so I guess these updates will be the first and last as our company explores this "digital learning opportunity and team bonding exercise")
0 Terrene points (based on expected performance)

Kash is redesigning the notification centre for our portal (we'll notify you when it's done, also would you like to subscribe to hear about our special offers?)
12 Terrene points per subscription

Kash has also improved our inventory and demand forecasting models recently (you'd be suppliesed at how demanding that can be)
forecasted Terrene points demand = 432 points|Available Terrene points for shipment = 1000 (shortages might occur soon, BUY NOW!)

I have been doing some serious work on making our graph go up and to the right. (It seems to be behaving so far)
20 monthly recurring Terrene points

If you'd smash that like button and subscribe that would really help us out, also check us out at our Patreon page*; big thanks to our supporters there! If you liked what you saw consider hitting that share button! (something something sign off catch phrase)
like for Terrene points

We invented Terrene points and we are looking forward to listing it on a Crypto Exchange**

(for added effect copy and paste this text into your facebook messenger to give their employees something to read)

* We do not have a patreon page
** We are not actually making a cryptocurrency

Weakly Recapped: Week of April 2nd 2018
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